Today, according to the calendar, is the anniversary of my birth and the beginning of my 46th trip around the sun. 45 years of life, and as I look at what is truly the first half of my life, I am disappointed and ashamed of what my story is to this point.
It’s not that I haven’t made some accomplishments in that time. I am a father and husband, and I have helped dozens of people survive tragedies and trials over the years, but nothing I have done or am doing makes me happy. Nothing leaves me feeling joy because I hand a hand in that moment.
And when I say nothing, I mean nothing.
The 45 years leading to today have been filled with compromises, with settlements, with decisions that were for the masses around me in the moment while ignoring the hopes, dreams, and desires within my soul.
Today is not a celebration. Today is the death of that man who gave in, who gave up, and that laid his desires down for someone else’s happiness and peace.
I choose to ignore today because to celebrate today would acknowledge that I’m at peace with who and what I am when, in fact, what I see in the mirror disgusts me!
Today is not day 16436 in a life of disappointment, but day 1 in a life that will bring a different story to my eulogy. Today, I choose me. Today, I choose to chase my dreams, my desires, my hopes, my beliefs. Today, I burn the pages of history and start anew with a fresh quill on newly formed parchment.
Today, I choose to turn my back on everything that way and look into the dawn of a new world of dreams, passions, and goals.
J.Rhett Lively 