“1, 2, 3, 4, 1

Victory!

Victory!

Victory!

Victory!

Victory!

Victory!

Victory!

Victory!

I heard and old, old…”

One of my favorite versions of this song is sung by David and one of his daughters Callie Phelps on his Hymnal Album released in 2017.  The beginning of this song where Victory! Is shouted eight times before the hymn beings and then again throughout each time they come to the chorus and during the adlib at the end just serves to get me fired up.

And is the reason why when we sing this song at church on occasion, I have a REALLY hard time singing it as it’s written in the Baptist Hymnal!

In fact, when you search for this song on Spotify, without looking for a specific artist, the first version that comes up is that traditional sounding hymn we all grew up singing in church.  Slow, lifeless and nothing near what the words of this song are portraying.

Even when I flipped to the next song that came up in my search, which happened to be a heavy metal version by Testament of Steel, there still wasn’t any emotion in the song.  Yes, it was loud, upbeat, and full of guitar riffs and solos, but the vocals were flat.

This song is celebrating the victory of Christ of death, over sin.  This song is celebrating the greatest gift we have ever been given as a Created people. Yet, far too often, we sing this song in such a monotone and flat way. It’s like the words are just there, like the meaning is lost.

I wonder if this is how we sound to God in our worship. Are we just a monotoned drone of voices, merely going through the motions because it’s Sunday morning or Wednesday night? Or does he hear the joy, the sorrow, the hope, the pain that comes from our worshiping Him and celebrating the gift He handed us by allowing His own Son to die on that cross?

Does our worship rise up in celebration, or is our worship leave a distasteful, sour, rancid taste in His mouth, making him regret the pain He and His Son endured for our sin?

But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!
1 Corinthians 15:57

Fighting Our Nature

I’ll be honest, I’ve fought my nature when I work with the worship team at church. I’m fighting learned behavior from my youth from an era when the shift from all Hymns to Praise and Worship, from a piano and organ to using a guitar, keyboard and drums were a source of strife in the church.  I was on the wrong side of that debate in my little farming community Southern Baptist Church, and the reigns were tight enough to choke even the most determined horse into submission.

And the trauma from those days and written the script for who I am now and how I lead worship today.  Rigid and reserved comes easy when the voices in my head are loud and grounded in years of youthful influence.

But I need to break free from those reigns and begin to free myself to sing with the emotions that are inside me.  I am beginning to break free from the chains that held back my writing for so many years. Surely, I can do the same with music, art, and who I long to be but am too reserved to talk about my daily world.

Afterall, if I’m questioning how my music is coming across the ears and heart of God now, the answer is as clear as the note on a page.  When I question if my worship is authentic, pure, and real, the answer is that none of those are true. 

I, and if we are all real with ourselves, all of us are holding back in some way. The natural urge to start that song with the shouting of “Victory! Victory! Victory!” is the urge I need to follow, because that urge is who I am.

Working to Change

And that’s why, even though this may take years, I plan to change who I am as a leader of worship. Today, as we lead the congregation of our church in “How Great Thou Art, Blessed Assurance, Jesus is Mine, I’d Rather Have Jesus, and I Give All to You,” I plan to focus more on the words, more on how they are coming from my heart.  I plan to let that worship bubble up and even though the notes may not follow the page, I hope that what comes out of me isn’t flat, monotone, and forced, but open, joyous, and freeing as I sing from the part of me at knows the truth of my faith and not the part of me that is trying to please the people.  This week, I plan to sing to the Creator, not the Congregation.